Pity and Fear
by Quiet Milk
Summary: Alice was raped as a teenager, and is having trouble getting over it. Enter Jasper Whitlock, who makes Alice’s problems look like a stubbed toe next to a plane crash. AU AH. M NC17 for sex, sex of a questionably consensual nature and some naughty words.


**I'm back! The girl who writes smutty one-shots ft. Jasper and Alice. But you may be happy to know I'm finally attempting something with a plot, dialogue that's not just grunting and moaning and a look at some relationships... well, after the first chapter.**

APOV

_*Flashback*_

_Finally it began to rain. Fat, round drops spluttering on the ground, wet soil perfuming the heavy twilight air. The black clouds had threatened to explode all day. James and I were snuggled together on the couch. I'd never really felt comfortable with him, but he was beautiful, and impossible to resist. He was four years older than me, and my parents definitely did not approve. This was part of the reason I found him so attractive. I'd always had a thing for bad boys. _

_James had been in my life since I was very young. All the mothers told their girls to stay away from the Blythe boy. But my curiosity was peaked, so I followed him around like a puppy. On that particular day I was wrapped in his arms, his lips trailing hot kisses along my neck. _

"_I was thinking babe, you're fourteen now. I have needs, and I think you're old enough to help me take care of 'em." He whispered. His words had made me tense. _

"_James, I don't know if I-"_

_He silenced me with a finger. "I love you. I want you." His finger dipped lower to the neckline of my t-shirt, and goose pimples erupted over my skin. Resistance was futile. _

_His lips covered mine in a searing kiss, his tongue caressing my mouth. One hand had crept up my shirt and was stroking my pert nipple through my bra; the other hand was grasping my hair almost painfully._

"_Don't worry babe, it'll be amazing." He laughed patronisingly, pushing me onto my back so I was positioned underneath him. I could feel his erection pressing into my thigh, yet somehow I didn't feel remotely aroused. He pushed my skirt up to my waist, and unbuttoned his jeans. Without bothering to take off my panties, just roughly pulling them aside, he pushed into me. The pain was overwhelming._

"_Wait James." I whimpered as he started to rock wildly. He didn't stop, and his movements became harder, and I felt a warm liquid start to pool in my thighs. I realised it was my blood. _

"_James, stop."_

_He raised a hand and brought it down heavily on my jaw. "Shut up!"_

"_James it hurts. Stop." I cried, feebly trying to push him off. It had started to hurt less as my blood lubricated his member inside me. He came on top of me, grunting. He collapsed, crushing my body._

"_I can't ... breathe." I gasped, finally wriggling out from under him. I left him in a daze on the couch and jumped into the shower. My thighs were starting to bruise, and blood was coagulating in my curls. I started to cry, sobs wracking my body, and I knew more than anything, I'd been used. And there was nothing I could say. _

_After that everything felt like a dream. James came to my house every night, and I lay under him like a good girlfriend, terrified he would hit me if I refuse; terrified my parents would find us. _

"_See baby? Doesn't it feel good?" He hissed one night, his fingers pumping in and out of me. I nodded. I was used to it now, the pain had disappeared. He was too occupied by himself to care about whether he actually got me off or not. _

_Every night, the moment he left, I showered and covered the bruises._

"_I love him. He loves me. I love him." _

_Every night I'd repeat the words, wishing I could believe them. He'd stopped calling me Alice months ago, it was always 'baby'. We'd stopped going out months ago, now he came over when the mood struck him. I was his whore. _

Home alone. I lived with my brother, Edward, and his roommate Emmett. Both of them were out tonight, something unusual, normally one would stay to babysit me. I couldn't sleep without someone to watch me, as childish as it may sound. Sleep could wait.

I heard the door bang around midnight. Breathing a sigh of happiness or relief, I wasn't all too sure, I wandered down stairs to hear about my brother's evening. But my plans were marred as I saw it wasn't just Edward and Em in our kitchen. Edward had a brunette girl trying to suck his face off, and a tall blonde girl had her arms thrown around my pseudo big brother's neck. There was another man, too, who towered over everyone in the room, and had a sheepish look on his beautiful face.

I smiled weakly. I didn't really like talking to strangers, especially when my brother was so occupied with something else.

"Ali, hey!" Emmett shouted, his eyes unfocused as he tried to look at me. "There's some people staying over tonight. Friends of ours."

I nodded. This seemed enough of an answer for him, as he picked up his Barbie and carried her out of the kitchen. Edward seemed content to take his poor girl right there on the table. Horrified, I beckoned the man to follow me upstairs to the guest room.

"Everything's there. You'll be able to find someone if you need something." I backed out of the room.

"Thanks." Was the lone reply. I walked back to my room, a strange feeling spreading through my body. Sure, I did notice an attractive man, James hadn't blinded me, but there was something about the honey-haired stranger. I climbed into bed, feeling secure now Edward and Emmett were home, but I couldn't get the thoughts of that tall quiet man out of my head.

********

Screaming pierced my sleep. I jolted from my bed and ran to Emmett's room.

"Em, there's screaming in Edward's room!" I shouted, bursting through the door. My eyes adjusted to the dim light and I felt a blush spread across my face. Emmett and his Barbie were completely naked. I slammed the door and stood in the hallway. Giggling replaced the screaming, right before Edward strolled out, tickling the brunette girl from the night before.

"Morning, Ali. Sorry if we woke you." He laughed, rustling my hair. I glared at him as best I could.

"You frightened me. I thought someone was dying!" I scolded, and he raised his hands apologetically.

"Sorry. Will pancakes be enough to redeem me?"

The brunette girl chuckled nervously, but I ignored her. "I guess so. Someone should go wake that guy up."

"What guy?"

I blinked slowly. "Tall and blonde?"

"Oh yeah, Jasper. He'll get up when he's ready. This is Bella by the way." He changed the subject smoothly, pointing to the girl. "My girlfriend."

My eyebrows shot up to my hairline. It'd been awhile since Edward had introduced someone as his girlfriend. "Nice to meet you."

She pulled on her short dress self-consciously as she took in my checked one-piece jumpsuit. "Same."

Emmett chose this moment to join us, cackling like an idiot. "Well Alice, did you get a good first impression of Rosalie?"

Heat spread across my cheeks, but thankfully he left it at that.

********

"We only met last night. I normally don't do this sort of thing." Bella confided in me as I chewed on my breakfast.

"Last night?! Oh, sorry." I realised how rude I'd sounded. "I'm very sorry, it's just... Edward must _really _like you."

She smiled, and I knew I'd been forgiven. "So do you have anyone? A boyfriend..." She took in my short hairstyle and smirked mischievously, "...or a girlfriend?"

I flinched noticeably. "I'm not really into that." I muttered. Bella chewed her lip nervously, and got up to help Edward wash the dishes.

I went upstairs to check on Jasper. I wasn't all that worried, but I did want an excuse to see the lovely man again. I opened the door slowly.

Lying spread eagled on the queen sized bed was Jasper. His hair was in his face. He was still fully dressed, but I could see the outline of sinewy muscle underneath the material. Another thing I noticed was the giant erection trying to break free from his jeans. He jerked awake.

"Uh... good morning." I made to leave, as he half-smiled at me. It took him a moment to realise I was staring at his morning wood, but the minute he did, his eyes went wild and he jumped from the bed.

"Sorry. I mean, good morning. Can you tell me where the bathroom is?" He shuffled from one foot to the other.

"First one on the left." I moved so he could bolt from the room. It was almost funny, except I felt so bad for invading his privacy. I loitered in the hall, and as he came out, he smiled shamefacedly.

"Good Morning, I'm Jasper."

"Alice." I held my hand out, which he took in his own. His long fingers were covered in calluses. He released my fingers quickly.

We walked downstairs together. I couldn't take my eyes off him as he called for a taxi, politely refusing coffee and food.

"When did you meet my brother?" I asked, breaking the awkward silence as I waited with him for his cab.

He looked up, shocked. "A few nights ago. I play at the bar sometimes."

His taxi pulled up and I bid him a hurried good-bye before scurrying into the house. Bella stood with me as I watched the car drive away.

"Did you get his number?"

I shook my head stiffly. "No."

She patted my arm condescendingly. "I know a crush when I see it."

I glared at her, not wanting to say anything mean. So I just walked away from her. I always walk away.

But as the day went on, I found myself wishing I'd gotten his number. It had been eight years since my last boyfriend, but there was a newly awakened ache to fall asleep in the arms of someone who wasn't my brother, to go to picnics and movies and talk about the world.

A newly awakened ache to love.


End file.
